What Do You Want from A Guy?

It’s been almost two months since he dumped me. Not sad anymore since I’ve realized that he’s not the one and that’s why God doesn’t want me give up my pure, innocent, and sweet love for him. Haha trying to enlighten myself.

Well, now I’ve become a lot more mature in terms of finding my future significant other. Before, I used to have certain type like dark-haired with short haircut, light-skinned, firm body with some muscle, and of course slanted eyed! Not anymore. My exes had those specifications and they’re all jerks, not all I mean but still they could not commit to the relationship that we had. So, I now believe that relationship can last long if it is your heart that speaks not eyes. Appearances cannot guarantee how long your relationship will last. And, you should know that eyes and heart see things differently! I don’t believe in that quote “dari mata jatuh ke hati” anymore.

In this early 2017, I’ve been trying to read some books, visit some new places, watch some movies, and of course meet new people to gain more experiences in life, so that it will give me new perspective in living the present and welcoming the future. Let me share some stories to you which started on the first day of this year.

First Week of January

You know I can drink but I don’t like to drink. So, I’ve drunk alcohol four times (consciously) in my 23 years long life and was not drunk at all. First, it happened when I was 13 years old. I uncoincidentally drank my Mom’s Whiskey/ Brandy, I don’t know exactly what it was. I drank them because it was in my favourite tumbler which I used to bring to school, so I assumed it was just water. Haha stupid. Then, on Chinese New Year celebration a decade ago my Dad introduced me to Green Sands which is used to contain 2 % alcohol – I just knew it around 3 years ago – and I really like it since. Last year, my Ex got me drink two bottles of beers and surprisingly it did not get me drunk at all or start to speak silly, yet he who also drank the same amount of beers started to get red in the face and act silly. The third time was when he dumped me and I thought alcohol could heal the heart break yet it just got me headache in the morning.

After all those stupid experiences with alcohol, I wanted to enjoy alcohol with different occasion which I believed it would bring different experience to me. Yes, it did! On the first day of 2017 I asked some of my beloved friends to come with me to a lounge where my college friend used to gig. There I drank beer and gin. Still, could not be drunk. So proud of myself. None of us were drunk, actually. We just really enjoyed it to see how many people dance silly, threw up, fall, and even became unconscious. The best part of that party was the moment when we got served by a hottie. The waiter was so good looking and hunk, you know! My friends and I could not get our eyes off of him. Haha miserable. Every time we wanted to order or ask about something, we called him haha in fact there were a lot of waiters there. Really enjoy the moment and it gave me different experience and perspective.

I also understand that once you’re not destined to be an alcoholic, so be grateful! Haha.

Second Week of January

I have bought some new books in last December and started to read them in early this year. One of them is entitled “Don’t Worry It Gets Worse” which has such a connection with my life haha. Especially, in the part of “overeducated yet underemployed”. Beside books, I also read some new websites which are very useful for me to learn more about Japanese, love life, and career development. In relation to career development, I also joined an IELTS preparation class at UI Salemba in which I met some new friends from different backgrounds. In that class, there were two lawyers, a nutritionist, an engineer, a business developer, and me who is the only one from bank industry.

You know that I really like to make friends with as many as people I could meet. So, I feel so grateful to join that class and meet those amazing people. It is really interesting that I was flattered when the engineer one was caught by me that he sometime stared at me during the class and last week he smiled at me and I smiled back at him, then he giggled and his cheeks turned reddish. Why I said that it is interesting because he is not my type at all physically. He is tall, slim, and dark-skinned. Yet, his personality, background, experience, and future plan got me a little bit interested to know him more. No, it is not necessary to make him my crush. I just want to be his friend at this moment. However, it just gets me realize that now I am no longer concerned about physical type of a man more than his personality. Such a good improvement.

Third Week of January

Recently I just moved to a new office, yet still work for the same company. This new place of course brought new experience and perspective for me. There were some cute guys passed by every time I stepped in the building. Oh, I like that! Haha. Also, this new workspace got me chance to get closer to my former badminton buddy. Nah, I did not have crush on him, he is just a nice person that I want to have a last long friendship with. He is a lawyer, you know. He is also good looking with that light-skinned, dark-haired with short haircut, and has some muscles. Sounds really my type physically? Yes. But, it’s almost two years since the last time we talk. We’ve been texting these days and planned to have lunch together. So, we’ll see what will happen next. He could be a very potential candidate as my future S.O or not? If not, I am so ready to introduce him to my single girlfriends. You know that relationship is more about chemistry and comfort than look good together.

***

Those new experiences got me think that what I need now is a guy who is family oriented, has good heart, and realistic future plan. I don’t really like someone who is too ambitious because a person like that sometimes doesn’t care about other people, especially family, they only care about their success and career. I once dated a guy like that. He was really my type physically, yet he did not care about how his mom was, what his brother would do after graduate from college, he just cared about his career and was too ambitious to get a job in overseas. Person like that is scary.

Skin colour and appearance are no longer basic requirements for me to find someone to share this life with. But, there is one important thing I have not mentioned before. I don’t like belly fat at all! AT ALL. Sorry haha. It is because I have been working out at home and doing weekly badminton training to gain some muscles and get away from belly fat. So, I hope the man I’ll date and marry later is someone who is also like to do sport and maintain his fitness. If you’re a guy, reading this post, and wanting to know me more, yet you have belly fat. Don’t worry, I’ll help you to get those fats away. We can play badminton together or do some simple yoga movements. Haha.

Beside those things, I still believe that chemistry also matters in finding your S.O. You know, I really like the sensation that you get when you have butterflies in your stomach while talking to your crush, date, or boyfriend. I really enjoy a long conversation in which both I and the guy have many “agrees” which means we have the same perspective, vision, and future plan in life. If you tell me your dream and want me to be the part of it. Don’t worry, I’ll get your back and help you to pursue your dream.

Last but not least, I’m still waiting for you, my future S.O. And… I miss you so much! Haha.